Day Twelve: A Moving Target

Day Twelve: How do you envision your teaching changing over the next five years?

This is an interesting prompt because I don't know what I don't know yet.

My vision for myself in five years revolves around continuing to focus more on the learning than the teaching.

The teaching--the dissemination of information--is the easy part. The act of learning--helping students actually grow as readers and writers and communicators--is the hard part. And the deeper I go into this profession, the more I realize the vast gap between the two. This will continue to become more prevalent as technology shifts seat time and face-to-face interaction in our classrooms. I have no crystal ball to foresee what this will look like, but I have to imagine that there could be changes in the way we do business in five years--or at least that will be on the horizon. But this is okay as long as we remember that students need teachers to guide them on their paths.

This journey is not just about technology, however. It's about the evolution of fear. When I started teaching, I was so afraid of losing control, of no learning happening, that I over-scripted and controlled everything, thus guaranteeing that each student would learn at a minimal level. As I grow as a teacher, the fear shifts. I'm now afraid of my fear of losing control hindering student potential to learn in my room. This is a much better place to sit because it places student learning directly at the center.

 So, in five years, what do I see?As I become a more skilled professional, I will ask better questions that help students do better thinking. I will listen better during writing conferences because I will continue to understand that this is the way it has to be, regardless of time constraints. I will do less work for students that they can do for themselves. I will continue to grow bolder.

But the reason I say that I don't know what I don't know is that there is a strange paradox in teaching. A wise veteran teacher whom I interviewed for my masters work on teacher sustainability said something to the effect of, "The strange thing about teaching is that the better you get, the harder it gets. You just keep finding new questions and different things you could do better." This is so true. Perhaps in five years, I'll have discovered a whole new element of writing conferences that is NOT about listening and absolutely crucial, but that door is closed to me until I learn how to listen.

This is the most frustrating, amazing, invigorating thing about teaching.

P.S. In five years, I will be more gentle with myself.